Eternal Sunshine

I always knew from the beginning that it would happen like this. I tried… tried it hard not to fall into the trap but when you are destined in a way, nobody could help you…not even God!! And I was destined to meet you.. It would have been better if it ends at the meeting only but its worst if never ends. And worth if you live  with it, for the rest of your life. I am glad that it happens.  And it happens for good. Thanks to you to be there for me always. I know, you don’t want to see me like this. But trust me, I am happy. Happy the way I am now. Do not worry about me. Your Golu is okay. Though sometimes I do miss you badly but it didn’t last longer. I always see you there...watching me.

Last night while sleeping I was listening FM. It was playing “Main Yahan Hun”…and I felt you deep inside me…somewhere deep inside my heart I felt you. I reach where I never intended to go. The song left me crying. I cried for hours pata nahi kab neend aa gayi. I felt quite heavy in the morning. Then I thought of talking to you.  And here I am.

Its been a year since I spoke to you. But you know I always speak with you. I always have you in my dreams. Sometimes I plan ki I should write down all my dreams whatever I see but I fail to do so. I didn’t get much of ‘ME’ time. My ‘Me time’ is when I am in my cab for office and it took more than an hour to reach office. And you always join me there. I could never go alone, you always follow me. I got lot of thoughts then which I want to jot down. And if I would have written them , I could end up with my first novel. Hence I am planning to buy a Tab so that I could write down whatever comes to my mind instantly. You know I spend a lot of my Me time with you, which I don’t want to do so. I want to utilize it.

You know the thing which we shared was so beautiful that I could never let my eyes off from it. It  never left me alone.  It is always there in me. And this thing will stay forever with me. No matter how hard I try to get rid off from this… it stays. And the feeling is so strong that even time has failed trying its bit. Now I completely surrender to this thing. I just embraced it and hugged it tight. I don’t want to leave it.. no matter what. Thanks for giving me such a gift. A gift for lifetime.  One day someone ask me “What does love mean to you”?  I said, “Love is a thing you can spend your whole life with, if you have it you don’t need anything else in life”. It just completes you.

Mean Manu

Its Saturday, hot and humid...Oh God!! I am getting late as its a morning shift I need to rush for the cab...and these cab drivers are never on time...they come early or late but never on time....and I hate this. As I got call from the company that Cab is on time.. I need to rush for the nodal point. I just grab my water bottle from the fridge and rush. I never leave my home without water bottle. I can be without food but not without my bottle.

As I reached early at nodal, hence have to wait.

I have a tendency to watch people, generally strangers, study them ...just scribble about them on my mind and then after few minutes,  it simply get erased  from my mind but there are few people who stays longer then others.

As per my habit, while I was waiting for the cab I saw a little girl begging. She was asking for money from all the people one by one. Nobody gives a damn to her. As I was watching her, she approached me too. As usual I just gave her a strange look but she insisted. I again just stare at her and said move on. But she had other plans , she looked at my bottle and said, "Get me some water". And I just could deny it and offer her water. She enjoyed my share of chilled water and walk away as if nothing happened. Only god knows how much I am possessive about water on such a hot day. I just can't share my bottle with anybody. I often took a fight in my office if somebody finishes my bottle. My whole team is quite aware of it, so nobody ever dares to touch my bottle. But this little girl simply get my most precious thing from my hand and enjoyed. Anyways, I thought its over. But to my dismay I saw another girl approaching me,  asking for money and then settle on water. WTF. My whole bottle finishes there. I am left with empty bottle. It was such a thing which I am not going to forget so easily.

And when I reaches office and told everybody about this incident...they just laughed off...

Sleeping With Another Man

Having sleepless nights for almost four-five months...I almost lost hope that whether I would ever be able to sleep peacefully....

Its heaven when you wake up in the morning and you found that your loved one is sharing the same bed..Its even better if its the one with whom you want to share or spend your life with,.. and when you woke up you found that you are there in his/her arms whole night...I do agree that sleeping with someone generally means sleeping with your husband/wife, boyfriend/girlfriend, or just with your ex's and which  in turns means  s** before sleep but its always not  the same...Sometimes you just find peace by thinking about a person and you simply sleep...Sometimes just by listening songs lets you sleep...Sometimes just good food put you at sleep..and  In worst case, you end up taking sleeping pills.. .WHOLE point is not how you surrender yourself to sleep but how you can just put your mind, body and soul to rest...how you comfort your soul while sleeping and I recently discover that sleeping in a man's arm no doubt put your heart at peace but keeping a baby in your arms and then sleep put your soul at calm and peaceful. 

AND..

 

Yes, I slept with this going to be a new man in my life....Yes..Yes...Yes..last night I slept with him...he is chow sweeeet...whole night he woke up in between just to get feed but jitna der bhi mein soyi he was with me ...holding me...cuddling and hugging ....WOW...simply AWESOME......

P.S. So to all my friends.....Main Mausi ban gayi hun....and we named him "Mannat" .....Khuchdoo for me....."Money" for sab gharwalas...and this post is dedicated to khuchdoo...  :) not you stupid...